Curmudgeons at NUGM

by Alan Alexander-Manifold

10/1994

(to the tune of "Drunken Sailor")

What shall we do with the old curmudgeons?
What shall we do with the old curmudgeons?
What shall we do with the old curmudgeons
During next year's NUGM?

Chorus:	Oh, damn!  The old curmudgeons!
		Oh, damn!  The old curmudgeons!
		Oh, damn!  The old curmudgeons!
		Why'd they go to NUGM?

Make 'em present at every session.
Make 'em present at every session.
Make 'em present at every session
During next year's NUGM!

Chorus

Make 'em keep track of Marla Levitt....
Make 'em be the judges for the costume party....
Make 'em try to talk as fast as Kolman....
Put up OS/2 on their staff workstations....
Make 'em change their code from SAS to COBOL....
Make 'em serve two-year terms on Team NOTIS....
Make 'em trace a whole LT transaction....
Put 'em on the ALS support desk....
Make 'em go to sessions on Horizon....
Make 'em tally up the evaluations....
Put 'em in charge of the whole Bum Steer Roast....
Give 'em each a rookie and make 'em mentor....
Make 'em all apologize for each other....
Make 'em write some better documentation....
Lock 'em in a room with Paul Sybrowsky....
Make 'em learn the ins and outs of UNIX....
Make 'em bite their tongues when a sales rep's talking....
Make 'em write a song as good as this one....
Make 'em find a new Bum Steer Roast venue....
Make 'em fix the Hilton's elevators....
Make 'em use a Mac as their desktop system....
Put 'em on display in a poster session....
Give 'em all awards and call 'em "classics"....