Are You Going to VUGM?

by Alan Manifold

5 February 1999

(to the tune of Scarborough Fair/Canticle)

Are you going to V.U.G.M.?
Cindy, Verne, Don Reilly and Jane
Please listen well to each one of them
Then you'll have the right to complain

Tell them to make me a system that works
	(In cubicles bare trapped by library walls)
Cindy, Verne, Don Reilly and Jane
	(Trying to get some transactions to close)
Without no bugs nor odd little quirks
	(T-shirts and blue jeans the clerical staffers)
Then I'll have no right to complain
	(Work unaware of the conference at all)

Tell them to write me some manuals clear
	(In a cubicle bare, a clicking of keys)
Cindy, Verne, Don Reilly and Jane
	(Crowded the screen with icons and apps)
Between today and the end of the year
	(A worker swears and brandishes her mouse)
Then I'll have no right to complain

Tell them to concentrate on acquisitions
	(New orders, piled up in hopeless confusion)
Cindy, Verne, Don Reilly and Jane
	(Bosses tell staff to reduce the backlogs)
And get it to function without preconditions
	(And to claim items publishers long ago remaindered)
Then I'll have no right to complain

Are you going to V.U.G.M.?
Cindy, Verne, Don Reilly and Jane
Please listen well to each one of them
Then you'll have the right to complain